This is really rich over at the homophonically-racist website, the Daily Noose. Professor of Philosophy and Law, Leslie* Green, tells us that when the right refers to universities as “liberal,” they mean universities filled with people who believe the following:
Species arose through natural selection.
No author of any gospel ever met Jesus.
Homosexuality is a normal variant in human behaviour.
The United States lost a war against Vietnam.
Human activity is a significant cause of climate change.
The United States has worse public health than do countries with nationalized health care.
Yet these beliefs are not the real threats to conservatives or the right. The true threats are the “habits of thought, modes of inquiry, and sensibilities of outlook,” which lead to such beliefs, in other words, conservatives feel threatened because “[universities] are universities.”
Got that? No, you say? Then let me mansplain it to all-y’all backwards readers of this humble blog: Them dumb tobacco chewin’ conservatives are threatened by the fact that there are all them smart fellers in them Iv’ry towers with that book learnin’ and stuff. It has nothing to do with the fact that at the Iv’ry towers they take as Gospel the following claims, with dissent met not with argument but ridicule:
-The only mechanism of common descent is natural selection.
-No authors of the Gospels ever met Jesus.
-Homosexuality is a normal [sic] variant in human behavior
-The war against Vietnam had little to do with stopping communist aggression of the north Vietnamese against the South and was not a political defeat but a military one.
-We should reduce fossil fuel use quickly by giving the government more control or else face disastrous consequences (#ClimateChangeIsReal).
-If you believe in yourself enough, you can be anything you want to be, including a man, woman, or whatever else you choose.
-You should be called an “Islamaphobe” if you denigrate Islam.
-Mexico is giving us their best and Trump is a racist (#RESIST). Because…
-Only whites can be racist.
-If you’re white, you come with a special cape that gives you “privilege power” no matter how dumb or poor your parents were.
-There is a serious problem of police injustice against blacks in the West. #BLM
-The “gender wage gap” is mostly to be explained by systematic injustices against women by (white) men.
-If you have four or five daughters, one of them is bound to get raped in college.
-Everyone should be able to go to college.
-There (REALLY) is a Constitutional right against the states to unlimited butt sechs.
-If you deny the above then you’re a bigoted bigot-faced bigot.
I’m sure I’ve missed a few. Perhaps some professors will help us fill in the gaps.
*Note: Not knowing Leslie, I don’t know if they identifies as a man, woman, or The Other. Thus, I have used the white, colonialist, capitalist, toxically masculine, gender-neutral, pronoun, “he” and various other forms to maximally be”on the wrong side of history.”
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