Progressive Thanksgiving

Hi, this is Progressive Pat. Thanks to the editors of Rightly Considered for allowing me to share some things for which I am thankful.

Avarice—since everyone knows that what goes on in humanity departments isn’t worthwhile, we’re thankful for the motivation enabling us to complain that our salaries aren’t equal to those in the School of Profit Business.

Pride—what fun is virtue signaling and humble bragging on social media about how “humbled” you are to be in the esteemed company you’re in without a bit of superbia?

Gluttony—otherwise “fat shaming” never makes it into the Urban Dictionary.

Envy—for without it, equality wouldn’t be desirable as such.

Lust—for without it, we wouldn’t be motivated to satisfy someone’s sexual lust in order to satiate our own bloodlust (abortion, duh).

Wrath—we are thankful for ANTIFA, who demonstrates our core values and convictional commitment to free speech.

Conservatives—for without them, there would be no one to hate.

I’m grateful for “multiculturalism,” for without “multiculturalism,” we couldn’t get all the falafel we want at the low opportunity cost of Brussels, San Bernardino, Orlando, Nice, London, Berlin, Manchester, Charlie Hebdo, Paris, Ohio State, Fort Hood, Cologne, Rotherham, etc…

Race realism—if it weren’t true, no one would have heard of the journal Hypatia.

Climate change—for without it, I wouldn’t be able to participate in a religion.

I’m thankful for those women who said they’d suck Bill Clinton’s dick to ensure he appointed pro-abortion judges. Basically, I thankful for those who would do evil, so that evil might come of it.

Acedia—without it…nah, explaining is too hard. I’m going to go take a Thanksgiving Day nap.

2 Comments

  1. Oh good. This website needs more trolls. Trolling brings legitimacy. And, if you can’t acquire trolls in the usual way — namely, by attracting attention with quality, controversial content — you might as well just invent one yourself and give him a column. Brilliant!

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